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Couples with a big age difference need to think things through or risk finding themselves at conflicting stages in their relationship.

“You can see varied cultural references, disapproval from family and friends, and perhaps community disapproval, as well,” says Rachel Sussman, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York.

“The unhealthy individual either has a type that is too specific and narrow—' I want someone between 30 and 35 who loves the outdoors, is really close to his parents and siblings'—or, conversely, too broad and vague—' I just want someone nice,'” Meyers says.

Instead, be realistic about what you want in someone, not what you want from their age.

“You’ll never guess,” he said, which is when I tried to examine his face for wrinkles and his hair for salt-and-pepper grays—there weren’t any.“I’m 38,” he said. “So I know what you’re thinking,” he said, upon returning. ” He launched into an explanation about not finding the right woman yet and managed to quell all of my concerns—at least for the time being.

I continued to find myself smitten, gushing to my mom about him, telling her that 13 years wasn’t that big of an age difference because we got along so well and it just didn’t matter.

Think of 10 years as a general guideline, but be open to other ages as well—and don’t limit yourself to dating only someone older.

"' Cast a wide net' is what I tell all my clients,” Sussman says.

The “half your age plus seven” rule of thumb probably helps you avoid being a creep, but is it accurate?

So maybe there is a kernel of truth the rule, at least for men. Le’s research focuses on commitment, including the factors associated with commitment and its role in promoting maintenance.

He has published on the topics of breakup, geographic separation, infidelity, social networks, cognition, and need fulfillment and emotions in relationships.

We continued to date until, eventually, our lifestyles proved drastically different.

His career and financial situations were a far cry from mine, and the idea of things getting serious felt rushed and scary to me.

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