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Somehow I just ended up here.”But Chelsea says there are benefits to a generational gap.
“Everyone thinks that some sort of power imbalance in a relationship is hot, even if they don’t admit it,” Chelsea said.
“One thing that’s cool about dating someone younger is that I don’t have to deal with, like, DVRs and shit.
When you date someone from a generation that doesn’t remember dial-up, they just fix all of that Internet stuff for you. She also keeps me in the know about who the new cool rapper or cool model is, which I no longer have the energy to figure out by myself.”But then sometimes an age gap can make you feel like you’re from different planets.
The Older Man had cool friends who had made movies and weren’t on their parents’ family plan. But while the daddy vibe had longevity in bed, in life it got old pretty quickly.
He gave me helpful advice on my career (“Don’t fuck your boss”) and about sex (“Stop screaming”). Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant.
We were also both newly into BDSM, which realistically was a more significant point of connection than I’d had with most of my age-appropriate exes. In your mid-20s, dating your peers can be harrowing—you’re drowning in a sea of street falafel, mezzanine beds, and entry-level head.
So when you meet someone who has clean towels in their bathroom and, like, a , it’s intoxicating.
Before the Older Man, I’d never been in a relationship with someone of a significantly different age—older or younger—but I had spent my adolescence fantasizing about my teachers bending me over my lab station, so in a way this felt long overdue.
In an age-gap relationship, you’re trading in different currencies, but each holds its own value.
And while sharing parallel life experiences with someone has its clear comforts, it’s not exactly jerk-off material.
I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? For one, he wore silk onesie pajamas that he meticulously ironed to have a crease down the center of the pant leg.
He also practiced Buddhist chanting (à la Courtney Love).