Boys expectations when dating
We all know the current of discourse running through our social media feeds, our text conversations, internet threads and beyond — men bemoan the fact that women just can’t seem to settle down for a “nice guy” like themselves and seek to justify this claim with a gazillion examples of instances where someone is dating a not-so-nice person instead of them, proclaiming boastfully and loudly, Women, on the other hand, are quite clear about their ideas, their expectations, their desires, and their wants, and a quick glance of many of the women writing here on Medium, especially the feminists, will show that women have no shortage of things to say when it comes to their critiques of men in contemporary society and what they want…if only the men who commit to these practices and say these things were listening, but they wrote off women a long time ago as somehow being not worth listening to, while simultaneously complaining about a lack of action or so much as a date.Men seem to intuit as wrongly as they do naturally that if they were only just bigger jerks, women would love them.Is the guy telling the girl she has pretty eyes just so he can sleep with her, or does he genuinely and authentically think she has pretty eyes? The one running theme throughout all of this discourse on both sides of the fence is the constant expectation of sex and romantic interactions on the behalf of men, and the intimations of constant deflation of the behalf of women every time they meet what seems like a nice guy who turns out to be anything but nice.Does the guy who’s offering her a ride when her car is in the shop genuinely want to do this for her — does he do it with his guy friends too, or is it only her, and infused with the expectation of sex or affection? He may have mimicked the behaviors of nice people well, but his intentions were far from what he communicated with those behaviors.” I can tell you with 99% certainty that, no, they are not. But when I was dating I definitely kept some kind of tally in my brain. Most of us tend to do this…especially when it comes to making decisions about men.
It’s because they don’t understand the words, deeds, and intentions of Grownup Men. And they are giving men points for some really silly stuff.
The belief in modern dating is that relationships should happen naturally.
Two people meet, and if they are “right” for each other, like magic, everything will fall into place.
Many are deluded by popular pornography culture into thinking that there are actually men out there who are total slobs, yet, are adored by women the globe over.
Nice guys might even offer up personal testimony, instances when they were indeed very nice guys, they took women on dates, they bought them flowers, they did everything right, yet, still didn’t get the girl.