Hot and cold dating

This is the core thinking of the partner who initiates hot/cold, and serves as their safety net to vulnerability. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability.

Our automatic response is to chase when the “other” pulls away.

The cycles of hot and cold may make you feel like the powerless one.

It appears as though as though your partner has all the strength.

Without realizing it, you’ve submitted to their need for emotional and psychological control. The pattern repeats itself for as long as you’re willing to play this game.

The beautiful truth is that this has nothing to do with you. There’s nothing you did, or didn’t do, that’s causing this.

Understanding what comes next puts you back in control of your own reactions.

About your Hot/Cold partner: There’s a marked difference between a relationship hiccup and the game of hot and cold.

You have dates more often, you’re in contact more frequently, and it feels like you’re heading straight for a serious relationship.But it’s just the opposite — real power is the ability to maintain intimacy. Power and strength of this caliber have no fear of being honest and direct.Games are an ego default when being “real” feels too scary. Being open and honest is a gift that’s born of inner confidence and self-worth. Once you recognize this pattern, you’ve already gained your freedom from the automatic response instigated by your partner’s game. Authentic communication reveals your partner’s fears, allowing their concerns to be voiced and worked out while maintaining connection. This is a partner who’s in the game for an ego boost and doesn’t possess the skill set required for a relationship with you. Your time’s better spent with someone who is capable of honesty, intimacy, and consistent behavior. Do they want to explore the possibility of a relationship with you?Don’t let your friends analyze your situation and convince you otherwise.Just notice where you are in the cycle and don’t let it disempower you.

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