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“The stakes are lower.” Even in an era of ingrained ambivalence about gender roles, however, some women keep the old dating traditions alive by refusing to accept anything less.

Cheryl Yeoh, a tech entrepreneur in San Francisco, said that she has been on many formal dates of late — plays, fancy restaurants. For her, the old traditions are alive simply because she refuses to put up with anything less.

You think you know all the important stuff, when in reality, all you know is that they watch ‘Homeland.’ ”Dodgy economic prospects facing millennials also help torpedo the old, formal dating rituals.The Gaggle, a dating commentary and advice site, helps young women navigate what its founders call the “post-dating” landscape, by championing “non-dates,” including the “group non-date” and the “networking non-date.” The site’s founders, Jessica Massa and Rebecca Wiegand, say that ina world where “courtship” is quickly being redefined, women must recognize a flirtatious exchange of tweets, or a lingering glance at a company softball game, as legitimate opportunities for romance, too.“Once women begin recognizing these more ambiguous settings as opportunities for romantic possibility,” Ms.“They’re wondering, ‘If you like someone, how would you walk up to them? When she agreed, he gamely hoisted her over his shoulders, and, she recalled, “carried me home, my girlfriends and his bros in tow, where we danced around a tiny apartment to some MGMT and Ratatat remixes.” She spent the night at the apartment, which kicked off a cycle of weekly hookups, invariably preceded by a Thursday night text message from him saying, ‘hey babe, what are you up to this weekend?” (It petered out after four months.) Relationship experts point to technology as another factor in the upending of dating culture.

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